After the previous post, me and Jen had a talk and we agreed that we have to see each other less. This goes into affect this week starting today, and does it need to be said that i'm not looking forward to this? Anyhow, I will be diligent in my ability to distract myself as that will be the key.
I will attempt to achieve a bunch of the things from the previous post, and hope to mostly occupy my time with reading, cleaning, guitar learning, exercising, kung fu practicing, and surely more things that I can't think of at this very moment. I need to re-establish myself in general, get all my ducks in a row, and feel like I'm of worth to someone again, and this time is perfect for that. Its as if the gods themselves have set aside time for me, since its the only way I can move forward.
Oddly enough its not saddening anymore, and simply feels like a necessity, as if the doctor told me I have to have my leg amputated and instead of going out and running around i'm already hobbling despite having both legs. Blech that was a terrible metaphor...but whatever. Hopefully i'll come out of this more Lon than ever. I wish myself much luck, and I recommend to anyone that stumbles accross this that if you ever want an open relationship; Do it early when you meet someone you care about.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
The Lonifesto
Yes I have a bad habit of making poor puns involving my name for my own purposes, but whatever its my blog, i'll pun badly wherever I damn well please!
So I've realised that I need a set of guidelines for New Lon (or if your french Nouveau Lon). These are the goals/aspirations/general tasks to be completed in this bizarre place called an open relationship. I know that I've been spending a bit too much time with Jen now that we've re-established this open relationship, and that doesn't really help anything, it gives the illusion of being together with none of the real benefits. So:
(And these are not listed in order of priority, although I may do that at some point)
- Be a little more harsh
I'm too nice, and for some reason most people take this as weakness, it isn't, but that's how its interpreted. I don't regret any of the nice things that I've done in my 25 years on this blue green ball, but hey time for a fucking change.
- Swim at least 3 times a week
Working at software developers for going on 4 years, although financially and mentally rewarding hasn't exactly loaned itself to me becoming a beacon of toned manliness. I'm not complaining, I'm still in objectively decent shape, but thats thanks to a combination of cigarettes and my bizarre metabolism. From this point onwards its get in shape time.
- Practice Kung Fu and Tai Chi daily
I"ve simply been letting this slide, and I shouldn't, I'm tired of "letting things slide" to do them another day. It's weak and pathetic and I'm better than that.
- Stop Looking
Even now that I have this setup with Jen, I've been "looking" for a replacement, by the logic of "if I don't look I won't find" but you know what, I have more than enough crap to work on in my life without that, and I won't find another Jen anytime soon, so I'll drop it, and Jen can sleep with the football team in the meantime if she wants.
- Quit Smoking
I don't know how quickly or easily this will be achieved, I assume it won't be either, but its on my mind, and I will soon enough slap a patch on my arm to fight it off.
- Cut back on the green
Simply not smoking the J's except on the weekends and special occasions
- Driver's License
Still no driver's license, I don't really need it, but I should get on it just so that its done at some point soon.
- Hit on at least one woman per outing
Not because I actually want them, just to sharpen the skills, I'm woefully unprepared when it comes to dating and all that crap, and I figure its something worth brushing up on.
- Read more
This is already pretty much fixed, but i figure it could use addition to the old Lonifesto.
- Avoid Commitment like its covered in genital warts
This whole deal with Jen is fucked, it destroyed quite a few parts of me, that while still functional are in horrible shape and make strange burnt noises when I try to use them. So I figure that short of someone amazing coming along (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) I'll avoid commitment like the plague that it is
- Write the damn book i've been meaning to write for ages
I still don't know what it should be about, or exactly what I want but I want to at least get started and pick a direction.
- Move back in with my parents
I've been putting this off for ages, since it is what it is, but its what has to be done, and I should stop procrastinating and get it done with.
- Brutal Honesty with Women
Not that I've been a huge liar in the past, but i won't pull any punches anymore, I went on 3 dates with a girl that I knew it wouldn't work out with. Never again.
- Learn to play the Guitar
My little brother is finally done with mine, and I'm going to steal it back and learn how to play andstart writing some sad bastard music because that's what I likes
- Distance myself from Jen
She wants to "see what its like with other people", she "doesn't feel the same way" but still wants to sleep together, I can deal. But the time will come where one or both of us will find other sources of entertainment and it won't be fun, so I'd like to be prepared for that. As much as I care for her, as much as I'd be happy to stop looking forever, I can't I have to start this entire schpiel over again...woo fucking hoo.
There are more to add but my lunch time is almost up, and so I leave you with a quote from the Stars song "Your ex-lover is dead"
"he scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin, tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in, now you're outside me you see all the beauty repent all your sins, nothing but time and a face that you lose, I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose, I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news, from a house down the road from Real Love. Live through this and you won't look back"
So I've realised that I need a set of guidelines for New Lon (or if your french Nouveau Lon). These are the goals/aspirations/general tasks to be completed in this bizarre place called an open relationship. I know that I've been spending a bit too much time with Jen now that we've re-established this open relationship, and that doesn't really help anything, it gives the illusion of being together with none of the real benefits. So:
(And these are not listed in order of priority, although I may do that at some point)
- Be a little more harsh
I'm too nice, and for some reason most people take this as weakness, it isn't, but that's how its interpreted. I don't regret any of the nice things that I've done in my 25 years on this blue green ball, but hey time for a fucking change.
- Swim at least 3 times a week
Working at software developers for going on 4 years, although financially and mentally rewarding hasn't exactly loaned itself to me becoming a beacon of toned manliness. I'm not complaining, I'm still in objectively decent shape, but thats thanks to a combination of cigarettes and my bizarre metabolism. From this point onwards its get in shape time.
- Practice Kung Fu and Tai Chi daily
I"ve simply been letting this slide, and I shouldn't, I'm tired of "letting things slide" to do them another day. It's weak and pathetic and I'm better than that.
- Stop Looking
Even now that I have this setup with Jen, I've been "looking" for a replacement, by the logic of "if I don't look I won't find" but you know what, I have more than enough crap to work on in my life without that, and I won't find another Jen anytime soon, so I'll drop it, and Jen can sleep with the football team in the meantime if she wants.
- Quit Smoking
I don't know how quickly or easily this will be achieved, I assume it won't be either, but its on my mind, and I will soon enough slap a patch on my arm to fight it off.
- Cut back on the green
Simply not smoking the J's except on the weekends and special occasions
- Driver's License
Still no driver's license, I don't really need it, but I should get on it just so that its done at some point soon.
- Hit on at least one woman per outing
Not because I actually want them, just to sharpen the skills, I'm woefully unprepared when it comes to dating and all that crap, and I figure its something worth brushing up on.
- Read more
This is already pretty much fixed, but i figure it could use addition to the old Lonifesto.
- Avoid Commitment like its covered in genital warts
This whole deal with Jen is fucked, it destroyed quite a few parts of me, that while still functional are in horrible shape and make strange burnt noises when I try to use them. So I figure that short of someone amazing coming along (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) I'll avoid commitment like the plague that it is
- Write the damn book i've been meaning to write for ages
I still don't know what it should be about, or exactly what I want but I want to at least get started and pick a direction.
- Move back in with my parents
I've been putting this off for ages, since it is what it is, but its what has to be done, and I should stop procrastinating and get it done with.
- Brutal Honesty with Women
Not that I've been a huge liar in the past, but i won't pull any punches anymore, I went on 3 dates with a girl that I knew it wouldn't work out with. Never again.
- Learn to play the Guitar
My little brother is finally done with mine, and I'm going to steal it back and learn how to play andstart writing some sad bastard music because that's what I likes
- Distance myself from Jen
She wants to "see what its like with other people", she "doesn't feel the same way" but still wants to sleep together, I can deal. But the time will come where one or both of us will find other sources of entertainment and it won't be fun, so I'd like to be prepared for that. As much as I care for her, as much as I'd be happy to stop looking forever, I can't I have to start this entire schpiel over again...woo fucking hoo.
There are more to add but my lunch time is almost up, and so I leave you with a quote from the Stars song "Your ex-lover is dead"
"he scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin, tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in, now you're outside me you see all the beauty repent all your sins, nothing but time and a face that you lose, I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose, I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news, from a house down the road from Real Love. Live through this and you won't look back"
Music Volume, pardon me is it your business
So once again I was listening to my music in the elevator back up to our work offices, and a co-worker felt the need to comment to the tune of "Wow, you listen to your music loud!".
Now I've had this before, I had a complete stranger at my old office warn me of eardrum damage. Sir I thank you for so selflessly watching out for my safety, would you care to follow me outside and tell me that cigarettes are bad for me? I find t strange that loud music is one of the social areas where people feel that they should comment. What is good music if not a thing to listen to loudly? I feel as if the whole point is to be awash in the musicians attempt, to be nothing but a large ear with little motor skills in anything else. In reality I could, turnabout being fairplay, warn people that walking could give them arthritis, breathing causes asthma, driving a car is killing us all slowly.
Also, if this was a case of my music bothering someone else, well I use earbuds and even at maximum volume, its barely audible, short of some beat notes, otherwise I do aquiesce in crowded public places, and I keep the volume to a realistic level. This was a purposeless rant, but they feel good don't they?
Now I've had this before, I had a complete stranger at my old office warn me of eardrum damage. Sir I thank you for so selflessly watching out for my safety, would you care to follow me outside and tell me that cigarettes are bad for me? I find t strange that loud music is one of the social areas where people feel that they should comment. What is good music if not a thing to listen to loudly? I feel as if the whole point is to be awash in the musicians attempt, to be nothing but a large ear with little motor skills in anything else. In reality I could, turnabout being fairplay, warn people that walking could give them arthritis, breathing causes asthma, driving a car is killing us all slowly.
Also, if this was a case of my music bothering someone else, well I use earbuds and even at maximum volume, its barely audible, short of some beat notes, otherwise I do aquiesce in crowded public places, and I keep the volume to a realistic level. This was a purposeless rant, but they feel good don't they?
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