Fancy Clothes shopping

This past friday, Jen and I had planned on going out and catching some live jazz, I suggested casually at one point that maybe we could dress up, for kicks, since neither of us usually has any reason to do so. She loved the idea, as did I, but me being me, I had next to nothing appropriate. So the friday of, after work, I was planning on buying something appropriate.

At lunch I scouted a store called Vizoni within Place Ville marie, I went in just to get a price on a full suit, and I was served by an older woman. She is/was a character, and at this point I had no idea to what degree. I returned to Vizoni after work to see what I could get since they had a lot of sales going, and I needed someone willing to help me with my aesthetic sense rather than line their own pockets.

I retured after work, and asked her point blank to pick out a shirt and tie for me. She is Edna Mole from the Incredibles, I'm convinced, I don't remember the entire conversation but I will relay the things that I do remember. Firstly what she looked like, She was an older woman probably early 40's, long brown hair, brown eyes hidden behind oversized italian style sunglasses (despite being buried within an underground mall). She wore a black/brown, dress/shift with a sloping scarf thing overtop. She spoke seriously about everything, as if our conversation was bugged and actively monitored by the Fashion Police. Now the excerpts that I can remember.

"I will treat you like a son" She said

"Uh Thank you, that's very kind of you"

"I have a son you know...(she could have taken a haul from a cigarette in this pause) but he is a bastard" her voice leaves the road onto gravely vocal offroading here.

Next Tangent

"What tie would you suggest with this shirt"

"Ah" She says, and holds up a finger signalling me to wait while she finds the perfect tie.

"This one is perfect, it will bring out your blue eyes" She says, as I'm thinking that my eyes are green, but I want to avoid being lashed by the vinyl tape measure that's constantly draped around her neck. She hands me a (to my novice judgement) handsome blue tie.

"Here try this". A little embarassed I brandish the tie like a child that I don't know how to hold,
"I"m sorry but I don't know how to tie a tie..."

"Is no problem, I be right back" and she leaves the store. I stand and wait, and surely within a minute or two she returns with a tied tie. I try it on, but the skinny piece was too long.

I turn to her, "Err this isn't right, can I adjust it?"

"No, no just go next door, ask for the Big guy, he will tie the tie for you, now go, GO" and she shoos me away.

I wander out of the store, and assume that another clothing store next door, is kindly taking on the responsibility of tying the tie's of Vizoni's patrons. The place next door is a jewelery store, and theres a hefty gentlemen at the back, and I approach.

"Are you the guy that tied this tie?" I say, a little trepidatious at finding out what the relationship is between the jewelery store and Momma Fashion.

"Yea, oh not such a good fit eh" A raucous laugh makes him jiggle in a not entirely unseemly manor.

"Here pass it back, I"ll try again." He replaces it on himself, and we have small talk about where I'm going and soforth. A second attempt is still too large, which reminds me that my kind tie afficionado is about 3 times my size and has a neck the size of a telephone pole compared to my skinny lampost.

Another tangent

She turns to me after we've picked out the shirt "You should buy some pants, I have these on special usually 90 now only 45." and I eye the pants, they're better than what I"m wearing.

"Lets see how I look in them" and she smiles as if I just told her the secret of the meaning of life.

"Do you have them in 32?"

"Only 30...but I have these in your size, a little bit more expensive, but marked down from 225"

I decide to give them a try, and they do look nice, and I come back out of the changing room as she is fiddling with the same pants still on the shelf.

"Come, come" she says and beckons me to her. I walk over,

"Turn" and she does a circular motion, I turn and hear her inhale sharply, and she then pats me on the bum.

"You look fabulous, these pants are made for you."

Anyhow, this whole experience was extremely amusing, and despite the price hike compared to say Moores, I will go back there to buy a suit, if only to enjoy her company.